Chaotix Snippets
by Just A Random Pencil
Summary: Just some drabbles about what the Chaotix do when they're not solving a case.
1. Chapter 1

Hey y'all! Welcome to Chaotix Snippets. These are just going to be a series of random drabbles about their day-to-day life.

As always, Sonic isn't mine and I don't make a profit off this. With that out of the way, enjoy!

* * *

It was night time in Station Square, and in the Chaotix Detective Agency HQ, aka, the cheapest apartment they could afford in the city, Espio sat cross legged in his room, eyes closed in deep meditation. Peace and quiet was rare, just perfect for some deep, soulful introspection, so he was determined to enjoy the moment while it lasted.

It lasted very little.

He picked up on a faint buzzing sound, that got progressively louder and louder until…

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Charmy immediately opened the door and flew in, without waiting to hear if Espio gave him permission to enter or not.

"Hey Espio, can I play video games?"

Still keeping his eyes closed, Espio responded, "No. It's late. Go to sleep."

"But I'm not tired!"

"Then entertain yourself with something useful, like reading."

Reading was not Charmy's forte.

The bee sighed, and flew off. Now Espio cracked open an eye. As he suspected, Charmy had left the door wide open. With an annoyed grimace, he uncrossed his legs, stood up, and walked across the room to close the door himself.

As he did, he heard Charmy's voice somewhere on the other side of the apartment.

"Vector, I'm bored." he whined. "Can I play video games?"

"Sure kid! Do whatever you want."

"Yes!" Charmy cheered.

A moment later, loud, upbeat music pounded through their apartment. There goes the peace and quiet.


	2. Grocery Mayhem

Espio slowly pushed the shopping cart through the produce section. "Charmy, what's the first thing on the list?"

"Um, it's…" Charmy looked at the list, but then got an idea. He slyly smiled.

"Cake."

"That's not on the list." Espio frowned.

"Well, if you know what's on the list, why do you ask me?" The bee pointed out.

The chameleon sighed. "Can you just tell me?"

Charmy squinted, turning the piece of paper this way and that before giving up. "I can't. You wrote it all weird."

"It's not weird, it's cursive. Just, here, I'll carry the list and you help me put the things in the cart." He took the piece of paper. "We need broccoli."

Charmy's face scrunched up and he stuck his tongue out in disgust. "Ugh, yuck, broccoli!"

"There's nothing wrong with broccoli."

"It's green! And you want me to get it?"

"Yes, because it's healthy, and we're going to eat it." Espio said in a firm tone, leaving Charmy no choice but to grab the vegetable. He held it as far away from him as possible, like he was dealing with something absolutely toxic, and bagged it quickly before dropping it in the cart. Charmy shuddered, wiping his hands to try to get rid of the icky green feeling.

Espio shook his head at the six year old's dramatics and looked at the list again. "Celery."

"Gross, celery!" He gagged. "Why are we even buying this stuff? Can't we just get pizza or chips?"

"No. We can't live off a diet of take-out and junk food – it's unhealthy." It was also expensive, which was something they couldn't afford with their financial issues. Not that Charmy had to know about that though.

The bee sighed and grumbled under his breath. He continued to gag and make faces at every vegetable that he was forced to put in the cart, but otherwise didn't protest anymore.

All in all, things were going pretty good today. Yet as Espio crossed out what they had already gotten, he couldn't help but feel like something was off...

* * *

Vector's sneakers squeaked on the glossy floor as he followed Espio and Charmy, when a glimmer caught his eye. One thing that being a detective had taught him was that anything shiny was valuable. Or a Badnik. Or a candy wrapper. Mostly Badniks and candy wrappers. But if there was a chance of finding something incredible, then by all means, Vector was going to seize the chance.

So without hesitating, Vector veered off to investigate the source of the shine. His teammates, who hadn't noticed he had left, kept on going.

He ended up in the electronic section, and had to hold up a hand to avoid being blinded by the glorious golden shine...

…of a brand new set of headphones.

Mesmerized, Vector grabbed the box the headphones were in. It proudly stated on the cover:

_Guaranteed to burst your eardrums or your money back!_

Vector had to have them. But the marked price made his heart drop. He pulled out his wallet and checked it. Not enough rings. Not even close. But maybe if he used some of the grocery budget…

He shook his head. No. He couldn't do that. As much as he wanted these headphones, he valued food just a little more.

But when he started to put the headphones back, it slipped out of his hands and crashed on the floor. Vector gasped in horror and fell on his knees to pick them up, only for a passing shopping cart to send the headphones skidding out of his reach.

He ran after them, but every time he got close, it got kicked or pushed away from walking shoppers and carts. Finally, the box slid inside a dark room that had the door slightly ajar.

Vector dove in headfirst, not seeing the sign above that said, _Employees Only._

"Welcome everyone to the bi-monthly employee meeting!"

_Drats, I've got to get out of here!_ Vector thought, and started making his way back to the door. Thankfully, no one seemed to have noticed the crocodile in the back clutching the slightly battered box.

"I'd first like to start by reminding that all employees get a free set of these new headphones." Another box, just like the one Vector had but undamaged, was waved around.

He swiveled around on his heels. _Free, you say?_

* * *

Espio and Charmy went to checkout and started putting things on the conveyor belt.

"So did ya find everything ya needed?"

"Yes, I-" Espio looked up, only to see a very familiar crocodile. "Vector, what are you doing?"

"What do you mean what am I doing? I'm working." He started scanning items.

"You don't work here." The ninja pointed out.

"Course I do. I'm an employee, and _employees_ get free headphones." He chuckled as he adjusted the golden headphones, and picked up the next item.

"Ugh, yuck, broccoli!"

Charmy, who was bagging everything and tossing in the cart, exclaimed. "That's exactly what I said!"

"Espio, we were supposed to get real food." The crocodile said as he continued scanning. To his disappointment, there was not a single bag of chips, soda can, or ounce of sugar in sight.

"This _is_ real food, and don't change the subject." Espio said, putting more items on the belt. "Now what-"

"Can I have a chocolate bar?" Charmy interrupted.

"No."

"Come on, Espio! Let the kid have a candy bar." Vector egged.

The ninja sighed. "Fine, but only one."

"Yay! Thanks Espio, you're the best."

"So, kid, what do you want?"

Charmy hummed as he looked over the assortment of candies above the conveyor belt. He pointed at the largest chocolate bar. "That one!"

"Alright, great choice." Vector reached over the counter, grabbed two candy bars, and scanned them both.

"We agreed we were only getting one." Espio frowned.

"Yeah, one for him, one for me." He explained. "Relax, it's on the house. A win-win for everyone. Oh, and it's gonna be 127 rings."

Espio blinked, "Right."

Vector was a cashier now, apparently. The chameleon took out his wallet and handed the money over.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Espio quietly muttered.

"Ya worry too much, everything's just fine."

"_HEY YOU! YOU'RE NOT AN EMPLOYEE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?_"

Vector flinched, dropping the rings all over the counter and floor. "Ok, time to go."

"What about your job?" Espio deadpanned.

"Uh, I quit!"


	3. The Chaotix Band

Sometimes, when the detective business got slow and the threat of eviction breathed down their necks, Vector came up with..._ideas_. Cash-grab ideas that were outlandish, undeniably Vector, and executed with a speed rivaling Sonic himself.

One moment, Espio had been playing the shamisen in his room. And in the next, Vector had gotten them 'a gig'. Before Espio knew it, he was at some birthday party surrounded by 5 year olds, trying to keep Charmy from eating the cake.

Lady Walrus looked rather displeased at the trio.

"I thought you said you were an orchestra!"

While struggling to hold off Charmy, Espio looked at Vector for an explanation, who only gave a sheepish chuckle.

"I may have...embelished the flyer."

_He made flyers too?!_

Before Espio or Lady Walrus could protest, Vector stepped on the makeshift stage and tested the microphone.

"Hey everybody! We're the Chaotix and we're gonna give you all a special performance."

'Everybody' consisted of a group of children and Lady Walrus, who had hired them to play for her son Stratford's birthday. Said audience just stared blankly at them.

Vector was undeterred. "Hit it!"

"A one, a two, a one, two, three, four!" Charmy started, and swung his drumsticks down on his drum.

Espio knew they were going to be terrible even before they started playing. Lo and behold, he was right. In a matter of seconds, children started crying, others slapped their hands over their ears, and Lady Walrus was looking rather horrified.

With a sigh, the ninja just kept playing the shamisen. Until he noticed out of the corner of his eye the hairline fractures that were spreading throughout the shaking walls.

"Vector!" His voice could barely be heard over Charmy's drumming and Vector's screeching. "You're going to bring the house down!"

The crocodile briefly paused, then grinned. "I know, that's the idea!"

"No, you're _literally_ going-" The rest of the ninja's warning was drowned out by Vector's final horribly off-key roar. Chunks of plaster rained down from the ceiling, the guests and furniture were blown backwards as all the glass and windows in the house shattered. At some point, Espio thought he heard Lady Walrus exclaim 'My baby!'

There was a moment of silence, where the guests' heads peeked out from behind overturned furniture. Then everyone started to scream.

"You hear that? They totally loved us!" Vector exclaimed, oblivious that the guests were not, in fact, cheering, but screaming and running away in terror.

"I wouldn't quite say that-_Charmy! _Stop eating the cake off the floor!"

* * *

This was inspired by the Team Blast move used by Team Chaotix in Sonic Heroes. I actually had no idea that Espio played a shamisen until I looked it up.


	4. School

The fan spun lazily on the ceiling of the living room, the area which Vector had claimed as his office. The Chaotix leader was at his desk, with his hands laced together behind his neck as his head bobbed to the music from his bulky gold headphones. His _new _golden headphones, he recalled with a smirk. His eyes were closed, and couldn't hear anything other than his beats.

Suddenly, something crashed into him. His eyes snapped open, and he caught a brief glimpse of Charmy – undoubtedly responsible for knocking the air out of him – before he doubled over from the impact to catch his breath. Vector straightened up, paused his music, and took off his headphones.

"-_No! No! No!_" Charmy shrieked.

"What's going on?" The crocodile asked.

"I was telling Charmy that he needs to go to school." Espio explained.

"And I said I don't wanna go!" Charmy replied, crossing his arms and scowling.

"Well, you heard him Espio. Kid said he doesn't want to go." Vector shrugged, like that was the end of it.

"It's not about what Charmy wants, but what's best for him." The chameleon said.

"Whatever the kid needs to learn, he can pick it up on the job. Like me. I didn't go to school and look at how I turned out." Vector proudly leaned back against his chair and kicked his feet up on the ancient desk that was overcrowded with mountains of unpaid bills.

"Precisely what I want to avoid." Espio muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Vector demanded.

"Charmy needs to learn."

"And he is! I'm teaching him myself, watch. Charmy! What's two plus two?"

The bee tried to count off his fingers, face growing increasingly confused by the second. He looked around the apartment, as if he could find the answer conveniently lying around.

"Uh...I gotta go to the bathroom!" Charmy zipped off and slammed the bathroom door shut.

Espio shot the crocodile a look, but he tried to brush it off with a casual scoff. "Pfft. Who needs math anyways? I mean, look at that Tails fellow. He didn't go to school and he's a genius!"

"That may be true," Espio had to agree. "But Tails is Tails, and Charmy is, well…" Both reptiles turned towards the bathroom door, hearing what seemed to be Charmy struggling, very loudly, with the faucet handles.

Realizing this discussion wasn't going anywhere, the chameleon shook his head with a quiet sigh and went to his room, leaving Vector alone in his office.

"Yeah, who needs math?" He repeated to the empty air, but in the back of his mind he knew that Espio was right.

* * *

Espio was about to turn in for the night, when there was an increasingly loud buzz, followed by a knock at the door. It immediately opened afterwards, the orange light from the hallway pooling into his dark room, and Charmy's head poked through.

"Hey Espio, what _is_ two plus two?"

From his meditating spot on the floor, Espio gave a soft smile. _Maybe there was still hope, after all._


	5. Mistaken Identity

This was inspired by Sonic Shorts – Volume 5, in the 1:27-1:42 mark, and originally going to be a single joke for another snippet, but it evolved into its own little thing. A little more action-y than other chapters, but nothing really graphic.

* * *

The full force of the Eggman Fleet loomed over Station Square, while an army of Egg Pawns marched down the streets, wreaking havoc in their path. Dr. Eggman was trying to conquer the city and convert it to the capital of the future Eggman Empire. Or as any Station Square resident would call it, just another Tuesday.

"Over here, bolt-brains!" Charmy blew a raspberry, immediately getting the Badniks' attention. They charged forward and fired, but Charmy flew up at the last second, causing the robots to shoot each other and explode.

"Ha! You missed me!" He taunted with a cheeky smile, unaware of one Badnik a short distance away aiming its gun at the bee. It would have shot Charmy had Vector not smashed it with one fist.

"Charmy, stop talking to dead robots and focus!" Vector scolded. The crocodile was wrecking Egg Pawns non-stop, punching clean through them like they were made of aluminum. A few shots stung his scales. It'd be bad news for someone like Charmy, but Vector had a thick hide. For him, it was little more than an annoyance.

There was a scream a few blocks away. It was a civilian cornered by an Egg Pawn.

"Espio! Egg Pawn, at 12 o'clock!" Vector barked.

"On it." The ninja nodded and sprinted over, a kunai gleaming in between his fingers.

A flash of silver whistled through the air and lodged itself in one Egg Pawn's neck before it could attack the civilian. The robot sparked and seized up before it collapsed in a smoking heap. Espio approached the broken robot and wrenched out his kunai.

"You should take shelter indoors." Espio advised, throwing more knives to hold off the incoming wave of Egg Pawns.

"I will, thanks for saving me Sonic!" The civilian nodded with a big smile, and ran off to the nearest building.

Espio jerked. The motion threw off his aim. The short blade ended up impaling an Egg Pawn's arm rather than the neck.

"That person thought you were Sonic? But he's blue and you're pink." Charmy said.

"I'm not pink. I'm fuchsia." He corrected, and ran over to finish off the orange robot with some sharp chops and kicks.

"Well, I guess you're around the same height." Vector offered as a posible explanation. He punched another Egg Pawn, sending it flying across the street and crashing into other robots.

Charmy squinted as well, tilting his head from one side to another. "I don't see it."

"Exactly, because we don't look alike. We're not even the same species." Espio pointed out. At most, they shared a vaguely similar body type, but that was as far as the similarities went.

The ninja threw another kunai, striking a Badnik that was behind an oblivious Charmy. It was the last of the Egg Pawns on this part of the city.

"Regardless, it was just one person who confused me as Sonic." Espio said. "The chances of that happening again are-"

"Hey, look, it's Sonic!" A civilian a couple blocks away shouted at the top of their lungs, pointing directly at the Chaotix.

In seconds, a crowd materialized seemingly out of thin air, surrounding them on all sides before they could even think of escaping. They all whipped out their phones and started snapping pictures.

Someone spotted Charmy and did a double take. "Is that Tails?"

Another civilian rolled their eyes. "What type of question is that? He's basically yellow and he's flying. It's obviously Tails!"

"Wait, I'm not Tails!" Charmy cried out, but went unheard with the tumultuous crowd shouting and trying to get their attention.

"Excuse me, Sonic, can I have your autograph please?" A child asked, tugging on Vector's arm. Vector looked around, thinking that maybe Sonic really was around. But no dice.

"Me? You want my-" The metaphorical light bulb in his head went off. He flashed a big smile. "Yeah, sure, kid." Vector bent over and hastily scribbled on the kid's notebook. "Remember, you should hire the Chaotix for any case. Sonic-I mean, _I_ say so."

"Seriously?" Espio asked in disbelief, partially at Vector, partially at the crowd.

The green reptile shrugged. "What? It's called good marketing techniques."

Were people _blind?_ Sonic and Vector had nothing alike. Not in color, not in species, not in voice, and certainly not even in body shape.

Then, just as Espio thought this couldn't get any worse, someone in the crowd looked at him and said.

"Hey, look, its Sonic's girlfriend, Amy!"

"Girlfriend!?" Both Vector and Espio exclaimed.

"Amy's the pink one, right?" Someone else asked.

"Pink?" The chameleon bristled. He was _fuchsia_, there was a difference.

Honestly, Espio knew he should have tried to explain and remedy the situation that was just ridiculous and getting out of hand.

Instead, he shook his head. "That's it. I'm done."

Espio disappeared.

"Woah!" Someone cried out, pointing to where Espio had been, "Knuckles just turned invisible!"

* * *

Honestly, the grand majority of ideas start as 2-3 sentences and the punch line, but then when I actually sit down to write it, it always ends up as a huge thing with loads of build-up, just for the sake of the punch line.

On a side note, I learned that the knife Espio is seen using in Team Chaotix's opening cut scene from Sonic Heroes is called a kunai. It's amazing the stuff you learn when writing fanfiction.


	6. Ninja 101

This one is centered mostly on Espio and Charmy.

* * *

Charmy shoved spoonful after spoonful of cereal in his mouth, eyes glued to the TV screen. "Wow, I wish I could be like Awesome Ninja Guy. But how?"

At that moment, Espio walked out of his room. Charmy felt the light bulb in his head turn on. He scrambled to shut off the TV and jumped off the couch.

He zipped in front of the chameleon. "Espio! Espio! Teach me how to be a ninja!"

"You…you want to be a ninja?" Espio couldn't help but be a little skeptical. The six year old had never expressed any interest in ninjutsu before.

"Yeah! I wanna kick bad guy butt like you!" Charmy threw some kicks and punches in the air, as if fighting off some invisible enemy in the living room.

Espio couldn't help but feel oddly touched that Charmy wanted to be like him. Usually, Charmy looked up to Vector, who frankly wasn't the best role model out there.

"Well, I suppose I could _try _to teach you a few things." Emphasis on try. Espio had never taught ninjutsu to anyone before. Even more challenging was the fact that his brand new student was Charmy Bee.

Could it be done? Could Charmy actually learn ninjutsu?

"Yes! I'm gonna be a ninja!" Charmy whooped and pumped a fist. "So, what fancy ninja move are you going to teach me first? Throwing ninja knife-thingies? Running up walls? Oh, or how about karate chopping so fast you can't even see my arms?" He waved his arms up and down, until they almost moved just as fast as his buzzing wings.

"Before you train your body, you must first train your mind."

Charmy accidentally smacked himself in the head. "Ow! Wait, what?"

"A good ninja understands the importance of meditation. That is where we will begin." The chameleon sat down cross legged in the living room.

"You mean that thing you do when you sit in your room and brood?" Charmy asked, hovering closer.

"I don't brood, I meditate." Espio corrected and patted the spot next to him. "Just close your eyes and focus on a profound thought, such as the darkness and evil that corrupts this world."

"Huh, okay." Charmy sat down next to Espio, and closed his eyes. "Darkness. Darkness." The young bee repeated the word like a mantra, in the deepest voice he could manage.

Two seconds of silence passed.

"I'm hungry." Charmy declared.

Espio stood up. "Alright, let's move on to the next test."

* * *

"No. No way!" Charmy crossed his arms, and glared defiantly at the piece of broccoli sitting on a plate in front of him.

"If you want to be a ninja, you have to eat it." Espio sat across him, on the other side of the table, watching how his protégé reacted to the second test.

"But why? I already cleaned up my room, and washed the dishes, and took the trash out!" He ticked off his fingers.

"I told you. Discipline is something a ninja must apply to _every_ aspect of his life."

Charmy slumped in his chair and huffed. "When do we get to the cool ninja stuff?"

"It's the journey, not the destination."

"What does that even mean?!"

"It means you have to eat the broccoli."

* * *

"A ninja is silent and stealthy. You cannot turn invisible like me, so you must learn to blend in with your environment. For your final test, you will try to cross the living room without being seen or making a sound." Espio explained, standing next to Vector's desk, which would serve as the finish line for this course.

"Ok!" Charmy loudly chirped.

"Starting _now_." The ninja said.

"Oh, ok." He repeated in a tiny whisper. He took a deep breath, and pulled his aviator goggles over his eyes. In his mind's eye, he was no longer in the living room, but rather in a dark, shadowy place filled with bad guys. He deftly jumped from rooftop to rooftop, knocking out bad guys before they knew what hit them. He became one with the shadows, and soon only one stood before him. His greatest nemesis – _broccoli!_

Of course that was not what happened in real life. In actuality, Charmy was humming the Mission Impossible theme song, while loudly buzzing from the couch to the TV to Vector's desk.

Charmy lifted his goggles, a big grin on his face and his eyes shining with hope. "How did I'd do? Did I pass?"

Espio didn't have the heart to tell him the truth. "…yes."

"Yay! I'm a ninja! I'm a ninja!" He zipped around the apartment in circles, cartwheeling in mid-air. "You know Espio, I could even teach you a few ninja things if you want!"

Espio quirked a small smile. "Yes, I suppose you could."

The front door knob jiggled and swung open on its squeaky hinges. Vector stepped inside. "Hey, I'm back! Did I miss anything?"


	7. Grocery Mayhem Part 2

It was a warm afternoon on a Friday, and Vector had declared it a "day off." In other words, they had no cases and nothing to do.

Charmy had been absolutely insufferable, to the point that Espio suggested they should take him to the park.

Currently, they were waiting to cross the street when Vector spotted Miss Vanilla and Cream walking towards them.

"Miss Vanilla! Fancy seeing you here! What brings you around these parts?"

"Why, good afternoon, Vector. Espio, Charmy." Miss Vanilla smiled at each of them. "Cream and I were just going to get some groceries."

A brilliant idea popped into Vector's head.

"What a coincidence! Because we're going to get groceries too!"

"No we're not." Charmy said. "We're going to the park-ow!" Vector whacked him upside the head while Miss Vanilla wasn't looking.

"Hehe, kids, amirite?" The green crocodile struggled to quiet down Charmy. "Like I said, we were just on our way to get...uh...milk." Behind him, Espio facepalmed. None of them drank milk.

Charmy looked devastated as they walked in the opposite direction, further and further from the park.

* * *

Getting closer to the superstore, Charmy recognized it and loudly asked, "Vector, isn't that the place where you faked being an employee?"

Vector coughed into his fist. "Uh, I don't know what you're talking about. Heeeey Charmy! How about you go hang out with Cream?" He made a shooing motion and pushed Charmy towards Cream and Cheese.

"But I don't wanna-"

"Great! You do that, while I help…I mean, _we_ help Miss Vanilla! What's the first thing you need to get?"

"Let me check." She squinted at her handwritten note. "Oh, I need bread."

"Ok! I'll get it for you!" Vector jumped to volunteer.

"Vector, that's not necessary! I'm sure you boys have better things to do."

"No no, Miss Vanilla! I insist!"

"Well in that case..." Miss Vanilla paused as she thought for a moment. Vector looked back at Espio and winked, a big smile on his face.

"Hmm, I just don't know whether to get whole wheat, or cracked wheat. Which type do you think is better?"

Vectors' smile dropped.

"Uh…" _I've never had wheat in my life!_ Vector thought, a sweat breaking out on his forehead. _I didn't even know wheat could be cracked! What does cracked wheat even mean?_

Suddenly, Espio interjected.

"Actually, might I suggest getting 9-grain? It comes with sunflower seeds and 30% more fiber than regular wheat bread."

"What an excellent idea Espio." Miss Vanilla replied. Vector watched the exchange, completely shocked.

* * *

Charmy hovered behind Cream and Cheese, a scowl on his face and his arms crossed.

_I should be at the park right now_. He thought, fuming. _I don't wanna be here._

"La, la, la!" Cream merrily sang as she skipped along the aisle. Cheese was hitching a ride inside the toy shopping cart she was pushing. She looked over her shoulder, and beamed at him. He forced himself to smile in return. The second she looked away, his smile dropped.

The bee rolled his eyes. _Ugh, how can she be so happy? I can't wait until this is over._

"Oh. My. GOSH! They're so cute! Don't they make just the sweetest couple?" A customer squealed.

"What!?" Charmy shuddered in disgust, backing away from Cream like she was a piece of broccoli.

Cream gave a polite smile. "Oh, we're not actually-"

"Smile!" _Flash!_

"NOOO!" Charmy's scream was heard throughout the produce section. 

* * *

Espio and Miss Vanilla were chatting away, avidly discussing the vitamin content of different fruits. Vector loomed behind them, having become a third wheel. And he didn't like it one bit.

"Excuse me, Miss Vanilla, I just remembered I have to talk to Espio about, uh, detective stuff."

He pulled Espio over the next aisle.

"What was that back there?" Vector hissed.

"What?" Espio asked, genuinely confused.

"That. You and Miss Vanilla, acting like you're best friends or something."

The chameleon didn't understand. "We were just talking about food."

"That's another thing, you never talk! You're supposed to be the quiet one!"

"I _do_ talk, when the other person is willing to listen." Now Espio was getting irritated. "Something that doesn't happen often."

"I don't know what you're trying to say here, but the point is, I don't like you being all chatty with Miss Vanilla. The one time I get to be with Miss Vanilla, and I've barely talked to her, because you keep talking to her about...about vitamins!"

_Oh, for the love of Mobius... that's what this was about? Vitamins?_

"Alright. Fine." Espio crossed his arms. "I won't talk to Miss Vanilla."

Vector threw his arms up. "Finally!"

The chameleon looked off to the side in thought. "I have an idea. How about this? The next time she asks about something, I'll whisper to you what to say, and then you tell her."

Vector stroked his chin contemplatively as he imagined the scenario, before slowly nodding.

"Yeah... yeah, ok, that could work. Let's do it!"

At that moment, Miss Vanilla came around the corner into the aisle they were at, and clapped her hands.

"Oh, perfect! You found the tea section! Last week it was over by the shoes..." She muttered the last part under her breath.

"Yup! I did, I'm all about tea. I _love_ tea. I know everything about tea." Vector claimed with a big, confident grin.

That, Espio knew, was a lie. The croc had never drunk tea before. In fact, he didn't even drink water, instead getting his hydration from soda and energy drinks. But the ninja didn't mention it to Miss Vanilla, who perked up.

"Really? That's wonderful! See, I usually get green tea, but I wanted to try something more relaxing. Since you know so much about tea, what would you recommend?"

Vector's grin faltered a bit, and he shot a desperate sideways glance to the chameleon.

Espio discreetly coughed into his fist. "Chamomile."

"Well, I'd go for chamomile. Yeah, that's the good stuff right there. Always drink chamomile, that's my motto..." Vector continued to go off on a tangent, making things up as he went along.

In the back, Espio sighed and shook his head. Honestly, the things he had to do sometimes... 

* * *

Vector was putting vegetables on the conveyor belt when he spotted someone familiar a few checkouts away. Turning, he made eye contact for a split second, and recognized him as the manager from before. He quickly looked away, ducking his head in horror, and tried unsucessfully to hide behind Espio.

The manager did a double-take, eyes squinted, and began to come closer. That green croc looked awfully familiar...

Now Vector was panicking. He hurriedly placed everything in plastic bags and glanced at Miss Vanilla, who was completely oblivious to what was going on. And who was also taking her sweet time counting out the rings in singles.

"Now, dear, was that 32 rings or 35?" She asked the teen behind the cashier.

The manager rounded a corner and was steadily getting closer.

"35!" Vector was sweating bullets. "It's 35!"

Finally, they finished the transaction and Miss Vanilla looked over the receipt.

Vector quickly snatched all the bags in his arms and rushed towards the exit.

"Ok, great, time to go!"

Recognition dawned on the manager, followed by snarling anger. "YOU!"

The manager pointed a finger at the croc. "THERE HE IS! THAT'S THE GUY! GET HIM!"

Vector practically flew out the automatic doors, leaving behind Espio and Miss Vanilla, who just looked at each other in confusion.

* * *

_2 hours later..._

Cream and Charmy wandered around, oblivious to the fact that they had been accidentally left behind.

"What's taking them so long?" Charmy groaned as he trudged behind Cream, who was talking as she pushed the toy cart.

"And then I asked, 'Mr. Teddy Bear, would you like some more tea?' and he said, 'Yes please, I'd love more tea' and I poured him tea. Well, it wasn't really tea, it was imaginary tea. So then I said, 'Mr. Teddy Bear…"

Charmy yanked on his antenna. _Make it stop! Make it stop!_


End file.
